Tuesday, February 08, 2005

What Men Want

A Cosmo extraction.*

Let's face it, girls, we're here for them! Once you've landed a man, cooking for him, cleaning for him, pleasing him, having his children, and taking the occasional punch in the jaw are all part of the gig. But how can you be sure you're doing everything correctly, gracefully, and with efficiency? Wouldn't it be great to have some guidance from the men we adore and serve? Well, wonder no more; we got the goods straight from the horse's mouth - we asked some of our favorite guys what they want, and this is what they told us.

"I like it when she goes down on me and leaves afterwards. Oh, and comes back to make the bed when I'm in the shower, but secretly, and leaves again before I get out."

"Don't talk about yourself. Unless you're talking about what you like about me, specifically stuff like going down on me and how much you enjoy it."

"It's best if she swallows, 'cause you know, less mess. Unless we're at her place. I don't mind leaving my seed there."

"It's a myth that men prefer virgins. They give really lousy head, it turns out."

"A neck massage is awesome after a really great blow job."

"I like it when girls say dirty words and stuff. It would be great if they could do that while they give head, but, you know, then it's all 'mmmrrmmfff' and 'cmmmnnk.'"

"You've got to be able to really cook a great meal. And go down on me."

*All implications present in this post are derived from and inspired by an issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine and are completely true.