Sunday, April 03, 2005

I know timing is everything, but I really want this suicide note to be perfect!

Prominent and semi-prominent people are dying. A lot. While we're not fearing the reaper, I figured I might as well make some glib commentary.

What can we do when our heroes off themselves?

  • Sigh with relief about that last-minute decision to use pencil for "heroes list."
  • Soliloquize in public places about the aberrant parody of humanity that is modern existence.
  • Write a poem or short story.
  • Throw a my-hero-died-so-buy-me-stuff party.
  • Send a strongly-worded letter to Jesus.
  • Shrug with jaded cynicism and tell everyone you saw it coming.
  • Find new, less talented, more stable hero.
  • Use it to get out of school/work/rehab.
  • Let everyone know that you had nothing to do with it.
  • Call friends to arrange collection of bet winnings.
  • Make a list of mildly amusing reactions to mask your bemused chagrin.